Emmi Valve Fan Club

Days.

30.09.2012 - 21:04 / emmi.

RAINY SUNDAY.

I wake up feeling oddly sad. “Everything is all right… Everything is all right.” // I miss-calculate. “What a huge mistake to listen to some sonic youth.” // “I rather listen to the rain. – …Can’t even read this magazine.” // “I should be living in those pictures in the magazine. – By the sea. – But instead I’m stuck here. – Forever.”

“I remember to buy toilet paper! – Congratulations to me!” // “Now I need a massive pile of comfort-food. – …I miss the kid too.” // Pampering my self does help. “I guess this is comfortable too.” // “When I close my eyes, I can pretend to be somewhere else. – This rain could be anywhre.” // “…But still. What if I notice that any of the hard work I’ve been doing, hasn’t paid off at the end..”

“…And I will never get home?” – The end! (Tomorrow I’m -maybe- more hopeful.)

—

ORDINARY THURSDAY.

I cutted my self bangs morning. “…My temple is so …bare.” // “Okaythen…” //I gave a phone-interview. // “Lunch.” // “Something healthy. – I’m still suffering from sugar-hungover from yesterday.”

Me yesterday: “I fucking hate this shit that these stores only have tiny sizes! I don’t wan’t any ‘Great Girls’ pants with some fucking boot cut and ‘pity-diamonds’ they put in fat girls jeans, like the pants used to belonged to Missy Elliot!” // “I will buy my pants from somewhere where it’s not made humiliating!” // “…The problem WAS the jeans, NOT my ass… – But I still better cut down sugar. I only get sick and cranky from it. – I made a mistake when I thought eating candy would pick me up.” // ”One publisher sent these books for our book club, and I’m gonna mark every section I find offensive as a woman.” // ”21 notes on the first 20 pages. …I may not wanna finsh reading this.”

I come to bar&cafe Paahtimo to draw and read the magazines. // ”Here I’m drawing this picture.” // ”Horoscope: single leos should now seek permanent happiness from a relationship.” // ”Uh. Shut up universe.” // ” …I shall look in to this relationship-thingie at the same time when I shall quit smoking…” // ”..Which is ‘When I want to.’ – …The guy at the corner table was quite handsome tough.”