Emmi Valve Fan Club

(….and it was about time! I would also like to remind the world, that I am as well an illustrator as I am a comic artist!) So check it out here: Emmi Valve / Illustrations .

I also have been drawing comics like my houseplant’s life depended on it, so some of that ol’ stuff coming soon as well!

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

Fishing with A. and my little brother. / A. has chicken pox. / Many rainy days at my parents house. / I can’t stop cooking. / I can see below the surface. / I forget everything serious. / I believe, that there are things you just won’t get tired of./ I sail! (And I still want a boat of my OWN!) / I haven’t worn make up for weeks… …or pants either. / I dream.

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

“Oh my! Do I have some thighs!” “…Why not?”

“I got Super-Thighs!” “And I’m a great cook!” “Quite a catch, I would say!”

—

This is my amused face:

It is also my friendly face, my sad face, my lost face, my scared face, my romantic face, my surpriced face, and my i-need-to-get-the-hell-out-of-here-face.

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

I’m hoping a nap will help for the head ache. I hear the sea. / I guess I could call these lonely journeys of mine retreats of some kind. If it wasn’t so lame.

Today I’ve been feeling fine.

I fell in love with a cliff. It’s soft and hard, smooth and warm. It has receaved storms and the heat of the sun. I fell a sleep on it’s lap. / …Untill… / “Ouch!” “Hey you guys, please stop eating me.”

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

I don’t like visitors.

If you’ve seen this before, you are either related to me, or I was very, very drunk.

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

“Oh shoot, I should come up with some good stories quick!” / “…These are OK, but I can’t use this same story in two places… – I should do something exciting again, so I would have a story to tell.”

“Like a romance or something would do. – …But I can only use 24 pages…”

“So it should be like a really short affair… -Or somehow compelitely doomed from the start, so it wouldn’t actually evolve in to anything serious at the end!”

Hi you difficult bachelor, -or why not a married man! A 27-y old, moody blonde is looking for you for a short term relationship, or for a somekind of troublesome hustle. Looks don’t matter, it’s your inner conflicts that count! Bonus from being emotianylly challenged, having a weird mother-relationship, plans to move abroad in the near future, and uncapability to process and control your feelings! Can’t wait to hear from you! “Leo -84”

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JUNE ’12 – I’M STRESSED OUT.

“Would you check if we still have some spring onion?” / “Yeah, those are great for this!”

I’M AFRAID THAT THE SKY WILL FALL DOWN ON ME IF I STOP COOKING.

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

“Oh my. I think I may not get ANYTHING done today. – I’m too pissed off.” / “…What if I just borrow that women’s magazine from Outi, and go and lie on the floor with a bag of candy…” / “Morning!” “Hi!” “Oh well, Pena came. Now I don’t dread to. I’m just gonna try to LOOK like I’m working…” / “Dum, dam, dum… here I am, drawing these… bears. Maybe bears will cheer me up.” / “There. Now I’ve made this bear-collage just for the sake of pretence. …Jeesuschrist what a piece of worthless crap that is!” / “Eeh! ONE PAGE Emmi! One page on any subject at all, and you won’t be a total looser!” / …GUESS WHICH PAGE I DREW?

“Hello? – An afternoon beer you say? Weelll… Right now it’s a bit…” / “Yeah, I’m in the middle of something here… Not really had a nice flow today, I’m still gonna try to get something done today… -…OK, Bye!” / “Oh Dear Lord!” / “Now quick, give me a medal for that!” / “…Before I take back what I said and run to that bar!”

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BUY A NICE BEAR-COLLAGE! Let’s say for a hundred? …Well for fifty at leats?

“Buhuu!! I have nothing to SAY!! Buhuu-uu-uu!! My work is so UNNECESSARY!! Buhuu! Where’s the MESSAGE, the POINT, the CONTENTS?! Buhuu? *Me me me*!! I am USELESS!! Buhuu!”

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

Sometimes when I’m stressed out, I relax like this: / “After this ginseng-yasmin-sauna-mask I could do a moisturising chocolate-mint-mud-mask…” / …This happens about once a month. / My cosmetic collection is also a bit strange. – Or, well, Russian. Thanks to my trips to Estonia. /Sometimes I do this: =Moisturising body scrub.  And a mess in the bathroom. /  WELL, I REALLY HAD NO REAL POINT HERE! Thanks Bye!

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TODAY’S OUTFIT. Next comic is about ever so interesting issue;  being true to your style, or “how to wear the same outfit several days on a row”.

“Oh la la! Clean under shirt! Mmm…!” / “I’m gonna wear this white lace skirt. I never use this anymore.” / “Noo! Too much going on! Lace, leopard, see-trough underwear…” – “I’ll wear the gingham-shirt!” / “And my sneakers!” “Fuck. I look like I’m TRYING to look like a Finland’s Swede…” / “Nah. I’ll just put on the skirt I wore yesterday.  It’s not THAT dirty. …And a pair of ballerinas too.” / “Oh well. This’ll do.” / The amount of minutes this foolishness screwed up my schedules is a total 20.

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THOU CONSOLATION FOR THE PEOPLE.

“…Time to go to bed…” / “What the heck?!” / “Sounds like some chick is crying and yelling at the same time… – If it’s one of my neighbours doped up again, I’ve had it.” / “Yeah. I’m just gonna brush my teeth, and hit the bed before the crazy people of this neighborhood really get on my nerves!” / “Wait a second… It’s the dude that lives next to me…” / “He’s singing! Quite… with a feeling… Good vibrato… I guess…”

“…Confusing…” / “I can hear him pretty well here in my bathroom… – …What is this song?” / “…Somehow… like… ‘ The Golden Youth’-vibes… but still not…” / “…Did I spotted a bit of ‘Edelweiss’ there?…” / “…What he is missing in technique, he’s replacing with feeling!” / “Wait! What?! ‘Thou consolation for the people’ ?”

“What song is that line from?” / “…I do get here some Kaj Chydenius-vibes too…” / “It’s like he’s putted this song together from little pieces of other songs…” / “Yeah! I clearly heard ‘ Thou consolation for the people’. …But what was that intro?” / “…Something… Italian? From an opera?”

“Oh shoot. I’ve been here in my bathroom for an hour now.” / “Thou consolation for the people?” / Next morning, in my studio: “I shall google ‘ Thou consolation for the people + lyrics’ ” / ” O’ Christmas Night lyrics by Antti Tuisku: O’ Christmas night, thou consolation for the people.”  “…But these other lines don’t fit. I wonder if there are different versions of this song…?” / “Hmm…”

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

TUESDAY MORNING 15.5.2012

I didn’t stop for a coffee at the market place. / Bar & Cafe Joella wasn’t open yet. / So I walked straight to Art Factory. / I picked up my own mug from the studio…/ …And filled it with coffee at the next door building’s school diner. / I seated at the Factory’s front yard to drink it.

I watched the constructor workers and made plans for the day. / Today I shall draw comics… / And have a meeting with the education and culture board. / If I have the time and energy, I may do some cleaning. / …Or skating. / …I tried to bring back my very first memories from Art Factory.

It’s been so long. / A lot has changed. / …But something is still the same. “CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE THE HELL IS THE ENTRANCE?!” / That so called culture is pretty nice… “WE ARE NOW HERE TO SEE THAT EXHIBITION OF YOURS!” / “Umm yes, the main doors are open, and then you go to the second floor and-” “THIS IS SO FUCKING TYPICAL, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE MADE SO COMPLICATED! COME ON, LET’S GO IN BEFORE IT STARTS TO RAIN!” / …But it is ok to treat like dog shit those who make that culture. “Yeah.You’re welcome.” / P.S.  I had no work on display at the Factory’s opening  art shows. Those tarts just expected so, or something. And by the way, sky was all clear and blue too!

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TUESDAY MORNING 22.5.2012

“Don’t drawl over that girl’s morning ice cream!”  / I may not hate this town.

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DO YOU STILL WONDER what is Taidetehdas, or Art Factory (as translated)? Let me tell you. It’s an old factory building in my home town Porvoo, that culture people took over at the 80’s. They putted up there working studios, galleries, concert halls, theatre, and so on. Few years ago the town got more interested of the old factory, also becos it started to be in a very poor condition. The town putted in a lot of money, and renovated the place. It now has everything it had before, plus cafes, restaurants, cinema, conference rooms, and a fucking shopping mall. This is all great, but it has been (and still is) a painful process in many ways for the artists, especially for the ones who were there when the Art Factory was originally born.

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.

I, EMMI VALVE, AM THE UNTIDIEST WOMAN ALIVE.

“I’ve always been untidy..” // “But it feels like it got out of my hands during few past years. – It could be ‘cose I moved 4 (!!) times during that time. – I’ve becom such a little piggy!” // I feel like comparing this quality to severe obesiety. (I’m not referring to healt issues here.) “Help! – I’m stuck in here!” “No one can help me, I’m gonna be like this for ever!” “No, I can change! – I’m gonna start the change tomorrow! …or next week!” // I don’t want to be like this: “…So anguished!” // I miss peer comfort: Loose weight , how to get rid of your dishes easily, grab the hoover, tight tights, revolution of a messy missy.“My dishes used to had mold on them, and the only way i could get a pair of clean cnickers was to hand was them in a sink!” // “But eighteen months ago I started this life style make over, – and my goal for the summer is to get familiar with cleaning and ironing curtains!” // “The very best thing of my succes is my new self confidence! It really shows in all aspects of life!” // “And I’m not saying that it’s all becose of the new tidy me, but my single years are finally over too!” // In my dreams I’m like this: // And it doesn’t feel very utopistic, since I do already have all this:

…But THIS I do not have: // It’s been replaced with this: // “HEEELP MEEEE! – I make a mess before I’ve cleaned up the last one I made! – And I HATE cleaning!!” // “…But maybe I do hate more living like this…” // “But I have no time or energy! – I tried it once, and it didn’t work! – It’s so hard and expencive! – I think there’s just something wrong with my bone structure!”

“…- ….Weeelll…” // “…On the other hand I have beaten some serious mental illnesses… – I’ve changed my diet… – I’ve gotten in to sports…” // “So why, WHY, wouldn’t I beat the shit out of my UNTIDYNESS too?!” // ” …But how? – Where do I start? – And how to make the results last?” // “…I wonder if Martha Steward provides any personal training?” // The End! (At last!)

Kategoria: Luokittelematon.